Sunday Showers

It was so cold. It's a test of will to walk fifteen minutes in subfreezing air to the train station. But I have made a promise to try hard to go to church every week. My church is about one hour and fourty five minutes, two trains, one line transfer and one bus away from my flat. That's a total of 3.5 hours in travel alone, plus two and a half hours of praise and worship. That's the whole afternoon gone. And in the past I've sometimes lost out to lethargy, to rationalizing that some Sundays, especially after a hectic Saturday, I needed to rest.

But's its the New Year and I could not bear to be lazy now. Also, I am happy and part of me wants to be in fellowship, to sing praises for all that I've been given. And so today I went, met up with friends I haven't seen in weeks, having spent my holidays in Pinas. And listened to the Word. Apparently, our pastor had some speaking engagement so one of our Elder laymen was the speaker. He talked about being thankful, about his life, how he learned to cultivate the art of giving thanks for every good thing that comes. It was a bit too much for me. He kinda singled out the engineers in the group, being more financially rewarded and all, he challenged us if we are even aware of the blessings we're receiving.

And here one realizes how the ability to preach has more to do with heart than with education. If it were education or skills alone, I would have been a better speaker, but I can't even imagine standing on that podium. I am amazed how people like him find the spirit, the faith to speak and preach. It is one thing to learn how to talk, and another thing to acquire the passion to really endeavor to speak with faith that you can move other people to change their lives.

Anyway, so the service ends. And I go home. And I open my laptop to find a message from the former love of my life. And we talked a bit, shared our travails. Laughed, and teased each other. And then I realize, this is what I want. A steady friendship. Do I love him still? Maybe, the affection's there. I think that will never leave me. But do I want more? No. I am perfectly happy having him as someone I can count on to talk to, to laugh with. The way we used to be way before there was any romance between us. We're slowly slowly going back to being the best of friends. And that I can handle.

I am in no mood for romance this year. I want my year to be mine alone. Selfish. no? But it's true. I am so happy that I'm free. Free from my desire of romance, free from a sense of desperation. And free from always having to compromise my needs for someone else's sake.

And then an email came. It's from the editor of the soon to be published Japan travel book where I contributed a couple of articles. In truth, I've kind of forgotten about it. But now they're doing their fact checks and the editor was asking for some additional data to supplement an article I've written. So there. that made me smile.

And then a friend who is by far the best writer I've ever encountered in my life have included this itty-bitty-ratty blog of mine in his blog's links. And that really made me grin!

I suppose for all these alone I could describe this sunday as a downpour. But there's one more. One that would have a bigger effect on my life. An email from the firm who's hired me in Europe telling me that my mobilization will push through and that he appreciates how I never refused or cancelled on them despite having had some issues and setbacks. Sooo wooohooo! This is so definitely a storm, and I am in the center of it all.

Thank you, Thank you for looking after me always. *Looks up and smiles warmly at Him*