Photo by totomai
It's all about leaving behind the banal, the commonplace. It's finding what makes you more than ordinary. It's not about being rich, though of course money helps only in the sense that it acts as a balm to your worries--about having something to eat, somewhere to live, enough pennies saved for the unexpected. Having some money frees you from anxieties triggered by these things so that you can channel your life more to what's essential. But even during hard times, especially during hard times, this stubborness, this warrior-spirit is what makes us us. All heroes are just people who stood up to the challenge, who made decisions with a to-hell-with-it mindset. It's a pretty powerful tool, this beating inside us, this internal compass. It knows, just as a part of us will always know, what will make us happy. Happy not in the sense of laugh out loud, celebratory, party happy, but that smooth peace, the centered self that we can go into even in the face of terrible news and pain.
It's also about growing your dreams. The ones that are inside you, not what you've sometimes forced yourself to accept in the face of uncertainty or because you think it's what they expect you to be. It's about learning to dance to your own whims, even when it means being alone for sometime. It's about being uncompromising when it comes to your personal goals. It's not about being stubborn, or being naive. But it's about fighting for it at least once. If you fail, then go find another, there's a blanket of dreams out there, and it's so easy to get lost. So why not fight for yours? You can always get another one, but at least nourish your inner dreams, they are certainly worth at least a try.
I just listened to an esteemed surgeon talking about, of all things, hope. He said it's not that we cannot face bad things, because we can, it's that always, always we want things to make sense. It's true isn't it? Even the horrible stuffs, the wars, the accidents, deaths that are unimaginably short or terribly long drawn, we can bear them. All we want is at least an understanding, a reason, a conclusion to draw out of these. We want our experiences, especially the dark ones, to be not for naught. We need a sense of learning, of knowing that we come out of them better, a little more enlightened in the least.
I think we are innately selfish in the sense that, deep down, we always look for ourselves first. And yet we also have this need to be givers. It's how we feel whole, by offering something to others. It seems like an oxymoron, to be selfish yet to yearn to give. But isn't it just rational, ergo, logical to take care of our needs first in order for us to be in the right position to help?
I end with, as always, an idea about love. Love is sadly not a wave. It's not ever flowing, it's not continuous. As I write this now, I think of cooking as a metaphor for love. The ingredients matter--the right seasoning, the best ingredients you can have, the best motives, the most earnest dreams and hopes. The technique matters--do you want a slow cook, or a flash fried spicy stir fry, or steam it, bake it, roast your own little bundle of joys. But ultimately it's the magic of it all. Sometimes too, you have to adjust more salt, a bit of sugar. Even reliable recipes can be improved, tweaked to your taste. And ultimately, you only have your taste to account for what will make you happy.
There, my rather short musing on Life, Dreams and Cookery.
