Points of View

I got an email from my best friend from my former church in Seoul. Magic was my first Korean girl best friend. The truth was, three years ago I had a crush on Pat, a Canadian churchmate who was a better looking version of Bobby Flay. Turns out that he was married though, to Magic. And when he introduced me to Magic, I understood how he fell for her. She’s pretty, eloquent and very funny and kooky. So that I looked forward to church and fellowships because it gave us opportunity to laugh and chat. One time, while Magic and I were chatting and laughing like crazy, Pat approached us and said that no wonder Magic and I are so close, we’re similarly crazy! We just stuck our tongue at him and resumed the girl talk.

We kinda lost touch when I left Korea, I learned that Magic, Pat and their new baby went to Canada to start life anew. It’s been more than a year since we last emailed each other. Two years since we last saw one another. But then I got an email from her last night and yaaay! Suddenly the laughter and silliness we once enjoyed came back in droves. Memories!

She was surprised to learn that I was back in Korea. And so I told her the story. And she told me hers. She says she’s so proud of me. That I’ve gone to different countries and that now I’m waiting again for my plans of a new beginning to unfold. I told her I used to cry thinking how my vision of settling down and having a family in a year’s time was shattered. But that now I am better. She says no! Enjoy being single! And we share, as only two girls whose bond remains despite years of silence. She tells me about marriage, how she knows that Pat and her are blessed with a good relationship compared to some of her friends. That Evan, their little bundle of joy, was a gift. But sometimes she finds herself longing for the romance they once had, before chores, before tiredness, before the routine of taking care of Evan settled into their lives. She used to be the bubbly girl that I could always count on to be my partner in laughing and doing little silly stuffs. We were always kneedeep in giggles and dreams about getting thinner, sexier and buying things. And she tells me she misses that part. So her advice: Stay single and find romance! Do not be in a hurry to marry.

And so we laugh at the irony of our wishes. How a part of me still long for the stability, the direction she now has. A baby and a husband. A beautiful home in Ottawa. She longs to be single for just one day. She's envious that I can go out with whoever friend I managed to schedule a date with. She wants the blankness of my days. I want my weekdays and weekends to change into days where I could wake up knowing someone is with me. And I’d no longer have to set out on eating at grand restaurants, shopping by myself for things to make me feel better. I want to recapture that feeling I once had, in a place so far away from here, in a time so seemingly distant now. That feeling of knowing that even the most mundane tasks, like cooking, cleaning or even just buying groceries, how they are joy because you have someone with you.

Aaaah, life. How it is that it's always, always a matter of perspective.