THE AGE THING

A pinoy colleague at my new work commented, "31 ka na? Di ka na nag-asawa?" I laughed, if I were in a bad mood he would have gotten a verbal umbrage he didn't expect but I was feeling calm and collected so I kidded him "Kuya marami pa namang oras, wag kang magsalita ng tapos!" Which of course made him go through the usual spiels that women will have difficulty with pregnancy after 30 and other so mundanely canned lines.

I just shrug it off. Weird but I am not even worried for myself, why should other people be scared for me? I've been through intense relationships and learned some painful yet life-changing lessons there. Plus, to be honest, it's only the past year that I felt I've had the chance to really spread my wings and mustered enough bravado to jump into things I've long dreamed of doing (such as, yeah, running small ventures).


And now, I've just uprooted myself again and is enjoying the fresh start in Seoul. So, yes, I don't feel any urgent need to be with someone thank you very much. There are a lot of friends to hang out with, and I need my saturdays for sleeping late and doing housework and weekend dinner with friends so what's there to miss about?

And yes I do want to have a kid someday. But it is still the kind of thought that's more akin to a far-off theory rather than a conscious goal so yes, maybe in 3 to 5 years time I'd find a way (and no, this will not involve married men, thank you very much. I know how it feels to be the aggrieved party of my parents' broken marriage, a thing with someone married is something I will never ever go into.)

So well, that's just it. Some people will never understand us. Some people will insist that what worked for them will work for you. But you and I, we have got to learn to look at ourselves closely and study our needs and our inner yearnings. What will it take to make you happy? I realized belatedly that a boyfriend is not a necessity in my life at the moment and no, I don't feel scared that I'm getting on in years. Truth to be told, I think it's only now that I've really began to bloom as a person, both in the way I present myself and with the way I want this life to proceed.

So for those who love spewing advice to single people, let me tell you this. Generalization doesn't work, let them be. Thirty is young dear. Or haven't you learned that one important tenet about love? It strikes any age, so why fret about my supposed problem when I'm not even worried myself? Sometimes the road by which that person reached that singlehood is ridden with trials and difficult lessons, and that her being single at the moment may actually be a blessing, yes, a good thing.