Conversations

We met nearly 10 months after I came home, a few weeks before I was to leave again.

We can list down the reasons and excuses why we have never made time before, but I actually think it all boils down to this: We waited because if we have met five months ago we would not have been this happy, this relieved to see each other.

"Teka, We missed last year!" And we giggled at the realization. It's okay, I tell her, at least we have an early start for 2010. This tradition, this ritual of seeking out each other. For nine years after we graduated from college, it has been an unspoken habit for the two of us to go out and break free from all the hubris and pressure of the grown-up world and embark on a trip together. From sleepovers to whole day malling to trips abroad and misadventures travelling through the country, we've done all these.The get-togethers with her is pretty much like going on a retreat where we confess our bad deeds, our fears, and rejoice in what we've lost and gained. Our bonding times are pretty much exercises in centering our cores, talking to someone who knows you too well that it's impossible for her to judge you. It's a little like therapy except ours were filled with laughter (and sometimes tears) and a few shots of alcohol (just enough to make us giddy).

"Do you remember our trip to the beach nearly five years ago?" She asks me. Of course I do! It was when both of us we're still pining for our individual loves. "We had such fun time no? Singing sappy songs at the beach with nothing but the stars and Tanduay?" Yeah, we smile. I point out, who would have thought that mere weeks from that trip we'd both be embroiled into serious relationships.
"It was heady no, X? That first mature and totally serious love affair?"
"Yeah, remember I'd YM you pa to give you updates!"
"Yeah, and when you and Z would have problems, I'd even blab it to the beloved and we'd analyze the situation so we can learn from your dilemmas."

I tell her, I'm so glad you're still with him, X. He takes good care of you. And she smiles,the things that hurt us then, her problem with her beloved's financial shortcomings, my pain and guilt about a so-called romance, they kind of settled into life lessons and reminders. Somehow we've learned to take a stand. She's fine with the simple life as long as it's with him. And I'm mighty happy about being free.

It's just a night of chitchat over our favorite junkfood--pizza and beer. But somehow it seemed heavy with meaning, a circle was closed with the cold night. It's more than renewing ties.

"I hope I can visit you there." She tells me.
I laughed, Girl, you've told me that a hundred times. It's my third year in the country na. I will not put my hopes up until you're there.
" Promise, I'll try."
"Charls!"

And we drank to that. To a friendship that withstood the silence and the breathing spaces we imposed.